HI IT'S PRIDE MONTH I LOVE PRIDE MONTH. i used to hate pride month when i was 13 or whatever because i was an insecure little twat that hated seeing other people being proud queers when why can't I be a proud queer it's a trick question i can it takes literally no effort lol. anyway i just wanted to ramble about my relationshiip with gender and sexuality this journal nothing crazy because it's a relatively complicated thing. i just call myself gay/queer/male+ because of how much of a stupid fucking infodump it is to actually explain everything exactly. but it's pride month you're going to hear about it. i associate with no gender at all really but i also don't vibe with agender/nonbinary in general i'm just a stupid puppy LMAO. i guess the closest thing is pupgender but i haven't a) looked too much into it and b) literally don't care i just wag my tail and go bark LOLOLOLOL. although i do feel relatively masculine. my gender is people not being able to figure out what my gender is haghjgkaha. and then sexuality i like men and i'm very asexual except when i'm not lol i don't really feel sexual attraction i just think the idea and concept of sexuality is extremely based. i am in the sex fandom. but i just watch the show i don't participate. that's everything i can think of. i bet you can understand now why i just call myself queer.
hi apologies for the lack of artwork. i've been putting all (or at least most) of my drawing effort into the pride month drawings, which speaking of, if you haven't seen it already here's the FA journal you can join at. if you don't use FA that's no big deal just shoot me a discord dm or an email. ANYWAY i've been helping my mom out at the gas station she works at, and the owners asked me if i wanted to work so i guess i have 3 jobs now! hahaha. it's stocking so i'm pretty happy about it. i love stocking it is so much fun and i get paid to do it :) speaking of the gas station i've tried just about every monster energy they carry there. lil bit of a spoiler to the Monster Energy Tier List but ultra watermelon is the worst shit i have ever drank. it's vile absolutely fucking vile. carbonated cough syrup god it's fucking horrendous. speaking of food i got paid today so i went to the grocery store and bought 3 and a half lbs of dino chicken nuggets. they're pretty good. okay that's all i can think of bye.
holy shit my last update was 2 months ago!!!!!!!!! hi i bought a cable for my camera to let me use it as a webcam and also my friend let me borrow(? i think borrow? i honestly cannot remember if he told me i can have it or if i'm supposed to give it back i guess i'll see if he asks for it back LOL) so i can possibly draw stream soon :) i don't know how my internet will handle it but i think it'll be fun either way. i work two jobs now which is kinda @_@ but also the pay is spaced out between the two to where i get paid every week now and that's pretty sexy. it's cool having money haha who could have guessed? in other news i have decided that i will try every single monster energy drink that is currently available to me. i have already made a list and tried a few of them. i'll keep you posted. uhmmm i can't think of anything else!!! i hope yall are doing cool stay swagolicious.
got supporter to upload mp3s to my site for arsenic's page. i'm such an optimization nut that even though i have 5x the amount of storage i used to have, and that i was only using about 11% of the free neocities page storage to begin with, seeing these BIG. FAT. mp3s uploaded makes my brain itch i hate uploading ANYTHING more than a mb at the absolute most. i try and keep things in the "measured by kb" range. it's better for my internet too, since it's so shitass anything more than a megabyte or two takes quite a hot second to upload. (if anybody knows my youtube, those videos take multiple hours to upload). it'll be okay though it's worth it me thinks.
hello. i haven't been updating this as much as i would like, being the website and the journal. i'm really weird about internet people being able to read about me and what i've been doing whatnot so on so forth but i should get over that. i've made my theme for this year "year of creation". i have been drawing more, i've been making music, i've been making small little videos (nothing crazy) and i've been making stream layouts. i want to stream but my internet is so shit (i typically get speeds in the few 200kbs/s) that streaming isn't really something i can do lol. i've been making noise music using a bunch of guitar pedals and a feedback loop from a mixer. i try to record the sessions, so when i get a quantity that i'm happy with (probably batches of $000F) i'll add em to the website onto arsenic's page, because it's his music in theory. i've also been making just "music" music and learning how to navigate trackers and make tunes so when i get an amount i'm happy with for those too (again, probably $000F) i'll add those to arsenic's page also. my health has not been very great i can't seem to stop losing weight lol. i didn't even notice until i saw my old boss to pick up my w-2 and she mentioned how skinny i was. my sleep is very odd and i think i'm developing an rsi in both of my wrists. even typing this out is kinda tough because of the pain in my wrists right now hahaha. everything is good though. net positive.
i have been having a lot of issues sleeping and my mom thinks it's from work. i've been waking up every night multiple times a night and i've only been able to get 2-3 hrs of continuous sleep in. sometimes i end up waking up every hour. it's really annoying lol i end up waking up feeling awful and wanting to sleep all day and even when i lay down the same thing ends up happening where i only sleep 2 or so hours at a time and i an sleep the entire day and still feel tired. my meds don't help me sleep at all and my beddy bye sleepy time med doesn't even make me tired. it's getting on my nerves. oh and i always wake up and start thinking about how many hours i have left to sleep and if somebody's going to wake me up and at what time and whether or not i'd be able to nap later and for how long and at what time etc. etc. my dream last night was about a nuclear war and 15 missles were sent to the major cities of my country and mass flooding was destroying areas that weren't major cities and i was watching it all happen on the news with my mom and we were making jokes and nonchalantly talking about it all being destroyed. i didn't feel scared but i didn't feel okay i don't know how to describe it.
i have found myself with a case of the sick,,,, my dad wanted me to get a covid test so i did that this morning. i swear to god if i end up having it, instead of some bloke goin out to resturants, having parties, not wearing his fucking mask i'm gonna be a lil pissed. in the meantime i have been playing a lot of minecraft. i'm really happy steve got into smash bros he's tons of fun he looks so silly lol. btw i'm really sorry about lack of updates. i have things i need to add that are ready and pages i have the ideas and assets for just need to *make* them. but it's hard for me to sit down and work right now cause of the sick. i'm sorry i'll get to it once i feel better.